Category: Coping Up

Life After a Disappeared Returns: What You Need to Know

When a loved one goes missing, the family and close friends are thrown into a state of fear, confusion, and hurt. It’s a very painful and traumatizing experience you wouldn’t wish on anyone, even your enemy.

The reasons why people disappear are as different as the individual themselves. Some disappearances are deliberate, while some are not. However, it’s always a thing of joy when a disappeared returns. But can life go on as before? Read on to discover how to handle the situation after a missing loved one returns.

● Give Them Time to Adjust

Whether they disappeared of their own volition or were forcefully taken and held against their will, disappearing disrupts their normal routine. And now that they’re back, they’ll need time to adjust.

It takes some people more than a year to ease into a new normal.  While this may seem like a long time, it might even take some of them less than that. It all depends on their support system. Members of the family, especially the mom, should be a pillar of support and help them adjust to the family routine.

● Constant Nourishment

When a person disappears, you don’t know the state of their health wherever they are. So it’s normal when they return, you’ll want to feed them to enable them to regain their health. Some disappeared looks haggard and worn when they eventually return, especially those forcefully abducted.

It would be best to start them on a diet filled with carbs, meat, and vegetables. Eating a balanced diet will ensure they fill out within a couple of months. Get an egg shape ceramic grill for grilling your steak. You can also prepare your brisket on a traditional stick burner. The overall goal here is to ensure constant nourishment for the returned to ensure a robust appearance is maintained.

● Ensure They Have Lots of Love and Affection

They need to be reminded that they’re loved, with words and especially with actions. After all, action they say speaks louder than words. Maybe the absence of love is what made them leave in the first place. Also, if they were forcefully taken, chances are, they weren’t shown love there.

After the awful disappearance ordeal, they’ll need to be showered with constant love and affection to help them forget the unpleasant experience and move on quickly.

You can start by buying things you know they like, preparing their favorite meals, and taking them out for a treat.

● Remember to Remove Their Name From Any Online Missing Person Directory

If you sent out a missing online appeal in the period they were missing, ensure their name is removed once they return as it might later cause problems for them as a result of their information on the internet.

It’s not a crime to disappear, and there’s no need for members of the public to have access to their personal information after they’ve returned. Having their name on a missing person site with unnecessary information can have a severe impact on their confidence, wellbeing, and mental health. It could also negatively affect their chances of getting a good job.

Although, it’s necessary to share a photo, full name, age, and residential address of a missing person to ensure they’re found safe and well, it’s unsafe to leave that personal information long after they’ve returned.

● Consider Therapy for Them

It’s not easy returning after a disappearance. For those that disappeared deliberately, there must have been issues they were experiencing that made them turn tail and run. Through therapy, they might be able to address those problems and find ways to overcome them.

Therapy is also good for a disappeared that was abducted. It’ll help the disappeared let go of the traumatic experience by talking about it with an expert who understands.

Through therapy, they’ll be ready to be incorporated into society again while trying to pick up their lives and establish new normalcy.


When a disappeared returns, it’s always a cause for jubilation, as the affected family ends the long days of waiting and wondering. However, certain things can be observed as you help them settle down to the new life after their disappearance. You have to ensure above all things that they’re well taken care of, given enough love and attention, and that their name is removed from any online missing person list. Doing this will help them forget those awful experiences and help them heal.

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5 Best Ways of Incorporating a Missing Person in the Society

The societal judgment on a missing person upon return hastens or slows their complete healing and bonding process. Whatever the reason for missing in action- whether by choice or through natural causes- it’s not time to remind them of their absence, but time to offer the necessary emotional support.

Trust me; it’s never easy to integrate such people in society; there is a lot of suspicion and guilt that comes with the return of such individuals. The best way to ensure their comfort is first to accept their return and not to show sympathy but empathize with them.

It the same as dealing with a grieving person; your work is to offer a support system at this time. Encourage them to speak out on their ordeal while away from your sight. Do this carefully without opening healed wounds. How best should you handle the situation?

  1. Seek professional counseling

The first reaction upon the return of a missing person is joy and jubilation. After all the celebration, the reality now dawns on you; you have to accommodate them despite the disappointments and the agony they took you through.

 When in doubt about what you need to do, seek professional counseling services for them and yourself. It’s easy to forgive, but you can’t forget. Let the experts help you with how to deal with the situation rather than aggravating it.

It’s common to lack ideas on what to do and even make mistakes that prompt them to leave for good. There are several non-profit making organizations with excellent programs that deal with such situations. Try one within your locality to give you the counseling services they require.

  1. Engage in skill development activities

According to an American proverb, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop,” Let the people continue their lives from where they left. In case things have changed as a result of their absence.

Be flexible enough to accommodate them in your daily routines. The skills must be in line with their passion. Engage them on what they love and enjoy doing. They could have the skills they acquired while in the jungle.

Your work is now to support them in their choice of skills. In case it’s welding, then use advanced technology tools to get the best welding tools to support their hobby. Your aim is to engage their mind and let them feel welcomed back to the home and society at large. Use your contacts to get the orders as a way of enhancing societal integration.

  1. Adjust your routine to suit their presence

Definitely, their presence may interfere with your normal routine. Shelf some of your activities to let them fully integrate into the family, lest they feel lonely and dejected. Create time for them; moderate it such that other members of the family don’t feel neglected. Let it be a collective responsibility. In case you have teenagers in the home, have a heart to heart talk with them on the need to welcome the “new” member of the family without any form of discrimination.

Let there be minimal talk about their absence unless it comes from them. Some of the experiences while out there are traumatizing that people don’t want to think or even talk about them. Respect their decisions.

  1. Let him freely mingle with people

As much as you may have your reservations about their conduct, especially with children, give them a chance to prove themselves by allowing them to mingle with people freely.

Extend this gesture to even other social gatherings like religious institutions, family friends, and relatives. It boosts their self-esteem to have that confidence to rebuild their lives once again. While introducing them in social places, never mention the fact that they went missing.

It creates a gap. Remember, these are emotionally delicate people. Take care of the words you utter while with them, and some things are instead said in low tones. You never know why they decided to make such a decision to come back after many months of not years of missing in action.

  1. Return to normalcy as soon as possible

The sooner you remove the “once-missing person” tag, the better for the emotional healing of the individuals. Treat them as a by the way and let life continue as soon as possible.

Engage them from time to time to ensure they are emotionally and physically healed. It doesn’t mean you avoid the narrating episodes; encourage it; it’s part of the healing process.

If they want to go back to school, well and good, do it as long as you have run an evaluation that it’s for the common good.

Naturally, humankind tends to judge and take sides after a disappeared person comes back. The first step you need to take is to welcome them and make them feel at home as fast as possible.

With this, you achieve the following

  • Encourage them to open up for healing
  • Makes them feel wanted rather than face rejection
  • Gives you an easy time to figure out what they can do with their life
  • Help easy and fast integration in the family, friends, and social cycle.

It is better to deal with the agony of integrating returnees instead of the agony of endlessly making efforts to find their whereabouts. Use the above tips to aid in their emotional healing and avoid its reoccurrence.

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