5 Tips to Survive the Memory of a Disappeared

The memory of losing a loved one to death is quite painful. But what’s more traumatizing having someone missing and not knowing precisely what happened to the person.

It’s natural to search for the disappeared with every resource at your disposal. Many unanswered questions keep running through your mind. Why did they leave home? Could they have been abducted? Where could they be? What could have happened to them? All of these questions hanging without an answer.

Initially, you’d continue to hope they’ll have a change of mind and return home. After some time, your hope begins to dash. Often, your priority at this point is either to receive just any news about your missing relative. Even finding them dead would seem like a relief to you. All you desire is answers.

Often, you’ll never get answers to all the questions on your mind, and you’ll have to live all your life with the memory of the disappeared. Some of the tips we suggest here could help you survive the memory.

1.  Make Adequate Effort at Finding Them

The most appropriate thing to do once you notice an unusual absence is to make a report. Let the police know every information that’ll help trace the missing individual-their last known locations, phone conversations, and every little detail.

Beyond making a report to the police, hire a private investigator to carry out an independent investigation. An independent investigator significantly increases your chances of finding your loved one. Ensure, however, that the investigation by the private person doesn’t impede police efforts.

Exhaust all your possible options of finding your loved one, and assure yourself you did everything within your means to find them.

2.  Don’t Blame Yourself

If your loved one left home on their own, it’s easy to think it was your fault they took a walk. The first step towards surviving the memory of someone who disappeared is to understand their decision to leave home wasn’t your fault.

Maybe you just argued before they left, and you sit to recount what you should never have said. Stop blaming yourself, and understand the decision to go wasn’t your fault.

Understanding they made the decision and not blaming yourself will help you live healthier, even while you grieve the disappearance of your loved one.

3.  Show Your Grieve

You have no reason to be hard on yourself. If you try to hide your grieve, it’ll make your situation a lot worse. Let your family and friends see and understand you’re grieving.

It’ll be more convenient for your friends to comfort you when they see and understand your anguish. Comforting someone in grief could be confusing for some people, but you can help by providing information about your needs.

This time is when you need friends and family the most. Don’t try to withdraw and stay away from them. Ensure they’re close, and accept all the help they can offer.

4.  Let Your Faith be Your Comfort

If you’re a religious person, times like this are the best period to draw comfort from your faith. Find the most comforting expressions from your confidence in the supreme being, and apply them to yourself.

Get immersed in the religious activities that are most meaningful to you. It could be praying, meditation, or any spiritual exercise that brings you comfort.

It’s not time to question your faith, but time to feed your confidence in the supreme, and comfort yourself with hope. Talking to your religious leaders may further help you live with the memory of the disappeared.

5.  Seek Help When You Need One

You might be missing a particular memory. Probably your missing loved one often sought after the best, healthy water to water your garden, and you enjoyed the person for ensuring your garden stayed healthy. But since the disappearance, your garden has seen less maintenance.

Ask help from other members of your family to fill in the gap created by the missing person. Let someone fill the vacuum they created as much as possible.

When necessary, consult a therapist to help you overcome your grief.


It’s difficult to forget a disappeared, loved one. If you’ve done all within your power, but couldn’t find out what happened to your lost family member, it’s best to find the best ways of living with their memory.


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